Fracture Lines
by SammyQuill
Summary: Hiding in plain sight is the way of the shinobi, but how does one hide from oneself? Even ninja are allowed to fall in love, but can they do anything about it? Written for the Chuunin Challenge by SammyQuill, FlameTwirler and Edelin. Won first place!
1. Chapter 1 by SammyQuill

**Disclaimer:** Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

**Author's Note:** This is an entry for the Chuunin Challenge being hosted on the Kakashi X Sakura Community on LiveJournal by team _Angsty McMuffin Pants_ (see what happens when you put SammyQuill, Edelin and FlameTwirler together?). The challenge required each team member to write one part of the story and I volunteered to write the first part. The other chapters will be posted here as well and I'll add a note to clarify who wrote them.

Many thanks to Nimblnymph for organizing this challenge and to Edelin and FlameTwirler for being awesome and putting up with me.

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><p>Sakura took a left, avoiding the ramen bar in favor of a longer route to the hospital. Of course, that meant she wouldn't be passing by her favorite bakery and therefore, wouldn't be getting her morning dose of dango and coffee, but she could get that some other day.<p>

Of course, good breakfast wasn't the only sacrifice Sakura had to make today. No, she had also had to leave her house a whole twenty minutes earlier (which meant either twenty minutes extra in bed and no shower or vice versa – and she'd needed a shower), which usually resulted in a cranky kunoichi.

Sakura took another left, this time to avoid the jounin lounge directly opposite the hospital and proceeded to cut across a back alley. She would get through the hospital's back entrance, walk through the maze of corridors inside the building to the front desk and clock in there. Sure it added an extra seven minutes to her morning ritual but then again, everyone needed some exercise now and then.

Her stomach growled slightly, reminding her that she'd already had plenty of exercise last night and was now in dire need of food.

_Hang in there_, the medic soothed her hungry stomach. _We'll be there in a few minutes and then get something from the hospital canteen._ Her stomach complained in the form of another growl, reminding her of just what it thought of hospital food.

"Yeah well, I don't like this either, but we're just going to have to deal," Sakura said out loud in frustration. And she was right; she didn't like this at all. Getting out of bed before her alarm went off, showering and changing at the speed of light and then running all around the village trying to avoid a certain someone – which made her five minute walk to work take twenty minutes instead – was hardly appealing. Not to mention going without breakfast, coffee or her morning dose of Ino (who, like all normal people, would have gotten out of bed at a normal hour instead of skulking around a back alley trying to sneak into her workplace), and she was hardly in the best of moods to start dealing with patients of surly Hokages who also didn't like early mornings.

Sakura glared angrily at her feet, thinking of what her life had become these last few months. Every time _he_ was in Konoha, she had to go into hiding mode, afraid to go near any place he might be found. When she was younger, she'd thought he was harder to find than a needle in a haystack and now, when she was trying to _actively_ avoid him, he seemed to be everywhere. She couldn't go near the ramen bars, couldn't go out towards the woods, near the jounin training area or lounge. The administration building in Hokage tower had become a complete maze where simply reporting to Lady Tsunade meant climbing in through a first floor window, waving awkwardly at the ANBU stationed there, taking the service elevator to the top and being hit on by the plumber who she was sharing it with and finally scout the waiting room from behind a wooden door to make sure _he_ wasn't anywhere around before flying the short distance to the heavy oaken doors and begging the fates that Tsunade-sama would let her in quickly. It had been very awkward when she had run into him coming out of the office once just as she had dashed to the doors and nearly ran him down. Since then, she'd made sure to wait for the previous visitor to exit before knocking on her shishou's door.

Her stomach clenched, and for a moment, she thought it was in sympathy at her plight before she realized a pair of zori and ankle bindings were registering in her vision. Her stomach clenched again, reminding her who those feet belonged to and her eyes traveled up the familiar form. Even through the horror and panic at running into the _one_ person who she had gone to all this trouble to avoid, her mind managed to supply_** he **__doesn't look like he's just had sex_. As her green eyes reached his masked face, she almost wanted to laugh at the horror and stupidity of the situation. Here she was, sneaking around back alleys trying to not run into him and he… she realized with a start, was probably trying to do the same thing.

'K-Kakashi!"

"Good morning, Sakura-chan."

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><p>The first time Haruno Sakura had slept with Hatake Kakashi had been on the night of her nineteenth birthday. The day had started off ordinarily enough with a congratulatory phone call from her parents and an extravagant bouquet from Yamanaka Florists early in the morning. The card with the beautiful arrangement of lilies and jasmines had read, "Your forehead is uglier and bigger now," making the medic smile and grind her teeth at the same time at the familiar insult. If it wasn't for the fact that the arrangement must have taken Ino hours, Sakura would probably have brought it to work and shoved the blonde's face is it. As it was, she had carefully picked it up and brought it in along with the small pile of brightly wrapped parcels. There were all the usual gifts: ramen coupons from Naruto, a book on painting by Sai, a beautiful wooden jewelry box from Yamato-taicho, a set of new kunai from Genma and Shizune-san, a beautifully soft silk scarf from the Aburame clan and a bottle of special sake imported from Iwa from her mentor with a note, "Take the evening off, have some fun. You deserve it."<p>

She had almost missed it, a plain brown parcel amongst the many colored ones. There was nothing ostentatious about it, not even a small ribbon or a happy birthday scrawled in the corner. Wondering who it was from, she had picked up the small rectangle and proceeded to slip her nail under the cellophane tape, carefully opening the package without harming the paper it was wrapped in.

It turned out to be a simple but elegant silver photo frame with a leaf insignia carved in the left hand corner, one of many sold in the village gift shops. These were the frames mass produced here for visitors to take back and given out freely to pretty much all shinobi. In fact, Sakura already had one – although much older, with the silver paint peeling off in places – in her room, which housed the picture of Team Kakashi after she and Naruto had cleared their jounin exams. The photo had replaced the original team seven picture years ago by her bedside.

Wondering who would have the audacity to send her such a generic gift, Sakura turned the frame over and found a small note taped to the back. It contained neither birthday wishes nor a signature yet the writing was instantly recognizable. The note simply read, "Noticed yours was wearing out; this paint won't come off so easily."

The medic had run to her room to retrieve her old frame and indeed, when she compared the two, she realized how unique the present actually was. Not only was the glass of the frame smoother, clearer, and of much better quality, but the paint did seem to have an extra sheen on it. Just to test it, the kunoichi scratched her nail along the back of the frame and though a slight mark did manifest on the surface, no paint came off. Finally, she noted the inscription at the bottom, carved out professionally just beneath the leaf insignia in small cursive letters, easy to miss as mere design if one didn't look closely enough. It read, "Team Sakura".

The green eyed kunoichi realized two things that morning.

One, Kakashi must have spent quite a bit of money modifying the frame. And knowing how her former sensei was about reaching into his pockets made her cheeks blush in appreciation. He had also carved her name instead of his, which meant he finally respected her as a fellow ninja. Of course, he had never openly insulted her but she had always been unsure, even after making jounin, if Kakashi would ever see her as an equal. It didn't help that the man had been around to witness her preteen years, teen years, and every stupid mistake she had ever made as a girl and ninja. Things like that were hard to put aside even when said girl graduated to the same rank as you. But this was proof, proof that he saw and respected her as an equal.

And two, that she was hopelessly in love with him.

Okay, so if she was honest with herself, that wasn't much of an epiphany. She had been attracted to him for some two years now. Ever since their mission to bring Sasuke back had resulted in the fourth shinobi war and ultimately, Sasuke and Madara's defeat, she had had a thing for the copy ninja. She had tried telling herself it was because of the war, because she was afraid of losing him. Her logical side had argued that she didn't feel like slamming Naruto or Sai against a tree and mounting them because of the war, so why Kakashi? After the second battle at the Final Pass which ended in Naruto and Sasuke both in a coma, somehow linked through each other's inner demons, Sakura had expected her feelings for the jounin to disappear because there was no immediate danger anymore. She was kept busy enough, monitoring two people who seemed to be perfectly all right even though in a coma. She had spent the following months running complicated chakra tests with Karin and finally tentatively deduced that Sasuke and Naruto were so closely bound together, neither would die without the other but both couldn't be active at the same time.

In the time it took to get the Suna exorcists to Konoha, run more tests on the two genin and then decide on an adequate sentence for both once they were awake and able, Sakura's feelings had only intensified. Sometimes, it was painful just to watch him and she had felt shame bubble up inside her every time her overactive imagination – only newly introduced to the infamous Icha-Icha books - provided her with an image of herself and Kakashi doing things that wouldn't be out of place on the most graphic of the late Toad Sage's chapters.

Yes, it wasn't a surprise that Haruno Sakura was hopelessly attracted to her former sensei. But right now, in her living room holding the personalized picture frame that was so much _him_ – only he would modify something so subtly it would look completely generic at first sight – she realized that she was in love with him. Not just physically attracted to him. Why? Because only _he_ would notice things like her older frame getting chipped and worn out, only he would know how much it had taken for her to replace the old team seven photo with this one, only he realized how utterly scared she was of being abandoned, had been all her life, and was reassuring her, in his own odd way, that he would always be there. No matter what else went on in her life, he was the one person that had always been there. Sure, he always showed up late with a ridiculous excuse, read porn in front of kids, made odd faces behind his mask when she ate mochi, but he was _around_ to do all those things. Never had he just gone and left her without a reason and for that, she was more grateful than she could ever say.

Of course, the realization that she loved him was followed by her very first real heartbreak. Because no matter what she felt for him, he could never be hers. No, it wasn't the age thing, or the fact that her parents would be horrified if they knew. It wasn't even Tsunade's potential wrath when she found out that made it so impossible. It was the fact that Kakashi would never, ever see her that way. He may respect her as a kunoichi, as a teammate and as a medic, but she would still be the little girl who pined over Sasuke to him, the girl who could eventually become his friend and equal but nothing more than that.

And though she had no clear memory of it, Sakura strongly suspected these were the thoughts she had blurted out in a drunken haze the night of her birthday after all her friends had left the bar, leaving only her and Kakashi still drinking. She remembered him removing his mask when the majority of the bar's customers had left at around four in the morning, she remembered him pointedly telling her maybe she'd had enough and then, the next thing she knew he was trying to sneak out her window, his shirt, headband and sweater in hand. Worse than that, was the realization that she was completely naked beneath the sheets. Their eyes had met once as he'd leapt out the window and the look in his gaze had broken her heart anew. It clearly said, "This never happened".

That was when she'd started avoiding him, making sure never to go near places he frequented, keeping a close eye on the mission roster so she knew when he was out, trying her hardest not to blush whenever he came up in conversation (a fact Ino had been quick to notice. Thank Kami the blonde interpreted it as Sakura having a crush on the copy-nin as opposed to having already slept with him).

And then there was the funeral.

Sakura had been sorting through boring mission records at the Hokage tower when Lee had rushed in, tears streaming down his face and begged her to come to the hospital. From all the bawling, she could make out that Gai-sensei had been terribly hurt on the mission and though he was being attended to at the hospital, Lee insisted that he needed Sakura. Like the medic was some magic charm. But she was no charm; she had arrived at the hospital only in time to see them cover up the Green Beast of Konoha with that dreaded starched sheet. Lee had sunk to his knees right there beside her, losing consciences to pain and grief at losing the sensei that was more to him than his own father had ever been.

After the funeral, Sakura had stayed behind at the cenotaph. Now she wasn't sure if it was to give Gai-sensei a personal goodbye or because she knew Kakashi would show up after everyone had left but in the end, she had managed both. She had managed to pray for the man and thanked him for everything he had ever taught her and when she was done, Kakashi had been standing right behind her. She hadn't heard him approach but then again, who did? The sharingan user was as silent as a cat in the dark when he wanted to be.

"He was my best friend, you know," Kakashi said too casually, too conversationally and Sakura tried not to flinch at the pain he was masking so expertly. "He wasn't my first best friend but he lasted the longest."

Sakura had let him talk in that casual, offhand way, let him tell her of all the ridiculous challenges he had insisted they partake in to show who was the superior ninja, all the dates he had tried to set Kakashi up on, all the times he'd fought by his side and risked his life for the silver haired jounin.

Sakura hadn't realized she'd been crying until he'd brushed a tear off her cheek, looking at her in surprise.

"Why are you crying, Sakura-chan?" he'd asked softly.

"Because _you_ won't, you idiot!" she had replied before flinging herself into his arms and sobbing all out. It was true, he would never cry no matter how much it was hurting him, and if she could grieve in his place, then she would. It was the least she could do for him.

Maybe it was the way he had repeatedly stroked her hair as she sobbed into his chest, maybe it was the warmth of his black woolen sweater against her face, maybe it was because he was a complete moron who, for all his expertise, didn't know how to let his emotions out. Whatever it was, it had made her slowly rise to her tip toes and kiss the corner of his masked lips. From then on, their bodies had taken over, leaving no room for thought. As it turned out, Kakashi did know how to let his emotions out, all the hickeys on her throat and shoulder which she'd had to heal later that day proved it.

He had visited almost every night for a week after the funeral, came to her like a ghost in the darkness and curled up to her desperately, sometimes holding on to her tightly as though she too would slip away. Those were the nights that made her realize that perhaps the older jounin feared abandonment as much as she did.

It had continued on from there. He would pay her a visit every few weeks or so, and she would welcome him into her heart even if for one night, just so she could pretend that he loved her as much as she loved him. That he was there for her, not just for anonymous and unconditional sex. Kakashi needed that human closeness to feel alive, and she only needed _him_ so it was mutual really. On those nights, they were closer than ever and in the mornings, well, she had learned of at least three different (albeit longer) routes to the hospital and the Hokage Tower which didn't coincide with anywhere he might be found.

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><p>Sakura's heart hammered loudly in her chest, as if trying to thud its way out. For a moment the medic wondered what the biological ramifications of her heart breaking free of her ribcage would be before she shook her head to dispel the thought. She needed to appear calm, composed, aloof, like he was doing right now. Kakashi didn't appear uneasy, guilty, embarrassed or panicky, all the emotions she was sure her expressive face must be going through in order for his observation.<p>

Too late, she realized it was her turn to say something. He had said good morning so she must reply now. But what should she say? And how was she supposed to sound? Blasé, casual, offhand, terrified? In the end, she settled for a nod, not trusting herself to speak.

Kakashi mimicked her silence, handing her a brown paper bag before he raised his hand and muttered his usual "Yo" before simply walking away. In the minute or so it took her to regain her composure, he was already out of sight, leaving Sakura alone with the paper bag.

It was only after she'd clocked in at the hospital that she worked up the nerve to open the bag he had given her. To her surprise, it contained nothing but two sticks of dango and a Styrofoam cup of now cold coffee. She drank it anyway, saving the sweet treat for later.

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><p><strong>End Note<strong>: If you liked this, please take a moment to vote for team _Angsty McMuffin Pants_ on the Kakasaku community on LJ and drop us a review. Stay tuned for part two and three coming soon!


	2. Chapter 2 by Edelin

**Note:** This is the second chapter of team _Angsty McMuffin Pants_' entry for the Chuunin challenge currently being hosted on the Kakashi X Sakura community on LiveJournal. This particular chapter was written by the wonderfully talented Edelin who managed to pull off a whopping 7.5 K despite English not being her first language. Edelin, we salute you for the amazing effort, sweetie!

Also, Edelin celebrated her birthday recently so drop her a wish folks! :)

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><p>Sakura had just finished her usual morning shift when she received a note from the Hokage requesting her presence immediately at the office. The pink-haired medic sighed in frustration. It had been such a tiring day; she had woken up very early in the morning, sneaked inside the hospital with as much secrecy as she could and then she had to give a lesson to 12-year-old shinobi that wanted to learn basic medical techniques. Somehow it had become a custom for most of the young shinobi, while they were still genin, to undertake basic medical training. It helped the dynamic of the team and it was an easy way to find who was talented in the medical arts.<p>

And meanwhile she had to take care of every little problem in her department as expected of a head medic.

Sakura loved her job. She was fully devoted to her duties and obligations, and they did fill her days, but sometimes she missed the carefree feeling of finishing her shift and going for a walk and dinner with Ino and some other nurses. She had been appointed a head medic a few months ago and now she barely even had time to breathe.

Sighing, she knocked on the Hokage's door and waited until she got permission to enter.

Finally after some five minutes of waiting she heard the Hokage's voice. "Come in."

She went in and smiled at the blond woman who was glaring tragically at the pile of papers in front of her while holding a cup of sake. If her sense of self-preservation hadn't intervened, Sakura might've laughed at the scene displayed before her. Luckily, years of battle-field training had taught her to heed those niggling little voices in the back of her head so she kept her mouth shut.

"Hokage-sama?" she asked to grab the woman's attention. The blond sannin raised her head and smiled softly at the young medic.

"Sakura," she greeted the girl. "I am in an endless turmoil, as you can see."

"Yes,Tsunade-sama. I can see it very clearly," she replied to the woman and stared at the three empty sake bottles on the table.

Tsunade sighed and drank the rest of the sake in the cup she held. "I can't believe I am saying this but I really miss Shizune's whining about doing things today instead of tomorrow." She lifted up a pile of papers and looked at it. "I really need her to keep me in place when it comes to deadlines. Even if we always end up doing things at the last minute, they happen more easily when she is pressuring me to do them," she admitted.

Sakura laughed and smiled at the elder woman. "You make a very good team… In a way you complete each other," the young girl said and looked at the piles of paperwork. "I understand the need to be organized now, thanks to the responsibilities of my current post. But anyway, Shizune will be back from that training session with the young field medics in a few days… so you will have her whining to your heart's content, Tsunade-sama."

A silence hung between the two women until Tsunade waved it away. "Anyhow, I called you here for a mission," the Hokage announced to her student as the reason for her sudden calling.

This surprised the young medic. Since she had started working full time at the hospital, she rarely went out on missions. So she was either specifically requested by the client or the mission required someone with her medical knowledge and talent, something that couldn't be supplied by any of the other medics on regular missions rotation. "What type of mission?" she queried.

"I know you don't normally go to missions, especially long ones, but this one will be very beneficial for the economy of the village. You remember the lord from Snow country that you healed a year ago?"

Sakura nodded. It had been a difficult surgery and usually Shizune would be in charge of it while she would just assist in whatever the older and more experienced medic needed, but due to an unfortunate coincidence, Shizune was unable to perform these duties, so Sakura did the surgery. All had ended well and the lord returned healthy to his home once he was ready to travel back. It seemed that the lord had been impressed with her abilities since he had later sent her cards of gratitude and even some small presents.

"It seems his son's hobby is collecting insects," Tsunade said and her facial expression changed into a grimace for a moment. While the hobby itself could be rather productive – if it weren't for the Aburame-clan and the stink, literal or figurative, they'd put up about it, they'd probably have a collection themselves down in the hospital for research – anyone handling dangerous insects should respect them and at least have a passing knowledge for how they really worked. From what she understood, this lord's son was likely just fascinated with how they looked and the fact that being poisonous gave him a thrill. "To make a long story short, he got bit by one of his rare insects and didn't do anything about it until he was infected. Not only has the infection spread but either the insect was poisonous, and the family wasn't aware of it – it was an _extremely _rare bug with very little research done on it – or it was diseased, so there's now that to contend with as well. The lord sent me a personal note requesting your services as he is convinced that if his son is left in the care of someone as talented and strong as you, he will be able to recover. I personally think the fact that you have worked with the Aburame clan earlier this year makes you an even more ideal medic to heal his son."

"So I must travel to Snow?" she asked. This would be problematic since a trip like that required a week or so of constant traveling to reach the destination, and that was if the weather didn't pose any problems. And during this time of the year, rains and strong winds were common. She would have to stay there for a week at least and would another week or so to return. All this would mean that she would be absent from her duties in the hospital for at least three weeks, at the bare minimum.

A very long time considering her position.

"But Tsunade-sama… isn't it possible to send someone with fewer responsibilities? It will be bad for my department if I am absent that long," Sakura protested.

The woman shook her head. "Unfortunately he insists that he wants you and only you. And Sakura… he will not only pay very, _very_ well for this but he has agreed that he will let us import some products from his region at an extremely good price. And Snow would buy more from our markets," she explained. "You know that after the war all the economies have been struggling so a deal like that would help Fire country strengthen our economy while also forming stronger bonds with a strong political figure of another country."

"I see," Sakura sighed in defeat. "Who will take over my department?" she asked the older woman.

"Ino and Hinata together will cover for you, and once Shizune is back she will keep a closer eye on your patients and nurses," the Hokage reassured the young medic. "Don't worry Sakura, I will not let all your hard work go to waste."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama. So when will I be leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning. However, given both the duration of the mission and the diplomatic implications, I have assigned you an escort." She raised a hand to hold off Sakura's rebuttal. "Yes, yes, I know the hospital hasn't made you soft and you can still take care of yourself. You have to consider, though, that you're going into another country as a foreign operative and while their intentions appear up-front we can never assume things will go as planned. It could be a trap, another group could have a trap planned – either to get to us or to use you to get into the lord's manor, or given that this lord _has _sent you gifts, he could even be planning to try an elopement between you and himself or his son."

Sakura snorted at that and Tsunade shrugged. "You never know. The point is I'm being _generous _by not forcing an entire squad on you so be grateful before I change my mind."

"So… who is it?"

"Your companion?"

Sakura nodded and waited for the female leader to answer her queries. "Someone very strong, who…" the woman was saying when a knock was heard.

Sakura turned to look at the door while Tsunade shouted her permission to enter the room.

Sakura froze when she saw the man that entered through the door. He looked around and when he noticed Sakura standing across from the Hokage, he tensed slightly as well, but his exceptional control over his body allowed him to hide his surprise masterfully.

Then suddenly she turned to Tsunade with a pale face.

_Please no. Please, please, please no._

"Him, Kakashi."

_Why? Why did this have to happen to her? Hadn't she suffered enough during her 19 years of life?_

"He'll be your escort," Tsunade finished and smiled at them, probably thinking they were also happy to be sent on a mission together after half a year of not being part of the same team. Maybe she'd even planned putting them together to help them become closer.

Only she wasn't aware how close they actually were.

If she did know, then putting them together for a mission that would last around a month would be the last thing she'd think of doing for _their _relationship.

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><p>They hadn't been together alone on a mission since team Kakashi had been disbanded. During the time Naruto and Sasuke were in that coma, they had supported each other, gone along with Sai on a few missions here and there, but soon that had stopped as well. The aftermath of the last shinobi war had rocked the foundation of Konoha. With the loss of so many of their friends and shinobi, many of them had to step up to fill in different holes in the structure. She'd focused on her job in the hospital and taking care of her teammates, whereas Kakashi, one of the most senior shinobi left alive with ANBU and S-Class clearance, was constantly sent out more difficult and dangerous missions with teams suited for these types of missions. She'd only gone on two of those missions, mostly because there was a need for medical attention and she was a trained field medic, but she was needed more at the hospital at home. Besides, by then they'd finally instituted the training of more and more field-nin in at least the basics of shinobi medicine so those going out – especially on solo missions – were better equipped.<p>

During those endless months of not knowing what was going to happen to her teammates, unable to understand how she was feeling about her ex-teacher and confused because of her still existent feelings for the Uchiha boy, she had felt like she was in a hole full of mud and she was slowly sinking inside, with no one to have beside her to pull her up.

She wasn't alone in this; most everyone around her was in a similar situation. During the war most shinobi had lost comrades with whom they had been together since the Academy and multiple families had lost more than one member. But Konoha had survived wars before and the people here were the strongest she knew; they knew how to thrive and survive regardless of the situation. No matter how much they were hurting, how much they wanted to let everything pass by around them and rest and dream of the future, they had to be awake, face the damage that had happened in their lives, wear the brightest smile they could and start working so their homes could be rebuilt and hopefully, with time, life would become full of colors and joy again. Everyday life would become as peaceful as it once had been before the war took place.

Similarly, Sakura had to do anything she could to save her teammates. She couldn't stand the idea that Naruto would stay numb for the rest of his life. Not Naruto, not the one who did so many courageous battles for the village, for her, for every villager that had once hurt him and ignored him, for Sasuke that had betrayed him more than once…. He just couldn't stay like that and Sakura had been determined to bring him back. He deserved as much happiness as possible and he had just found love in Hinata.

She cared for Sasuke too. She didn't want him to die – she and Naruto had been searching all this time for a way to save him and keep him alive after all. He was their teammate regardless of what he did or who he'd become. No matter what, she had to admit that some love still existed within her for the dark haired boy, or more for the boy he had been, but part of her hated him as well, blamed him for his part in the war, for what happened to Naruto, for Kakashi being brought half-dead back during the war, for all the pain she'd had to endure.

Thankfully though, once their medical research had hit a dead end, the Suna exorcists had come through on a wonderful bit of diplomatic maneuvering on Tsunade's part thanks to the new, strengthened peace treaties, and both Sasuke and Naruto came back to consciousness.

In that ecstatic moment she couldn't have been happier.

No, that was a lie. She could be happier, if she could share that joy with a certain silver-haired male. She had understood that perhaps her feelings for the experienced shinobi ran deeper than she thought during the war but because of how fast everything happened and then being separated for months, she never gave much thought to the butterflies in her stomach every time he looked at her, or how she tried to find him every time she looked around.

She understood how much the man meant to her, how she really felt about him, when the madness of the war ended and they had just sat close to a fire for some minutes. There were no words to explain how she had felt with him that one night, how suddenly everything felt a bit lighter because he was there, how hot she felt inside while she had taken care of his wound on his arm. She had the chance to touch his strong muscles and skin without having to admit how she felt and without having to face the certain rejection from the man.

She hoped that as time passed, her feelings would pass too, or at least lose their intensity but instead it seemed that with every passing moment she thought of him even more.

She never expected these feelings to be revealed to the man because of something as simple as a picture frame.

But Kakashi was nowhere to be found.

It had pained her that he was not there, close to her when she woke up; to hold her or at least tell her face to face what the night they shared was to him.

But at the same time she was grateful that he had left so she wouldn't have to hear from him that what they lived meant nothing and he wouldn't see her break because of his words. She expected that their relationship would be awkward and that an uncomfortable silence would rule every time they were alone somewhere. And that was the case. For around two months, they acted like nothing had happened when they were with others and ran away from each other, the moment they were alone.

She hoped that soon things would calm down and perhaps they could start being friends and not ran away from each other. She hoped that one day she would meet someone else and she would move on.

She never expected that night to be repeated. And she certainly didn't expect to ever have sex next to a memorial, the memorial of one of her teachers. But she did and she couldn't help the bittersweet feelings that had flooded her after he had just gotten up and left her behind. She'd known it was just comfort sex, after all she'd done the initiating, but that didn't make her feel any better when he walked away.

When she opened her door the same night, she wasn't sure what to expect from the silver-haired man in front of her but her questions were quickly answered by his actions. He didn't say anything to her, not even greeted her. He just burst inside her apartment and kissed her senseless. Before she could understand how or why this was happening, they were in her bedroom and their clothes were on the floor.

The next morning he was again nowhere to be found.

But after two nights he appeared again at her doorstep and the same thing happened. And again the morning he disappeared before she woke up.

Somehow they had come to do this frequently. He appeared at her door and they slept together and she woke up alone. It was this weird and uncomfortable situation that she didn't have the power or the desire to stop that led her to walk inside her village like that. She was trying to avoid being close to him because she knew that once they stayed close to each other for more than a few minutes, she would talk to him. She would be unable to restrain herself and she would open her big mouth and chase him away.

She didn't want him away though, that was why she never pushed him when he came. He didn't offer her what she really wanted but he offered her physical closeness as a substitution. He probably thought she wanted to have just sex, like he did, just a way to release everyday life's stress. He would never guess that for her their nights were a fairytale that would never come true, that she was pretending they were in love and they would spend time together at the morning.

That every time she hugged him, it wasn't just out of passion, but also because of the consuming need to feel closer to him, to have him for herself and herself only. Just for that moment when she hugged him and he hugged her back while he was inside her.

But now….

Now everything was doomed to break because of the mission, she thought sadly as she prepared her stuff. There was no way they could be all alone for so much time with nothing damning said.

There was no way she wouldn't crave to be close to him. She would break with nowhere to hide from him. She knew that they would perform the best they could for the mission but she knew that somehow something would screw up and they would have _the _talk.

And he would never come back to her, because if he knew how she felt and how much she depended on the few stolen moments in the dark they shared, he would keep his distance. How would she be able to survive without these stolen moments? She couldn't move on. She didn't want to.

She looked at the watch and sighed. It was time to go. She picked up her bag and slowly walked out of her apartment, heading toward the gates where she would have to wait for the copy ninja who would probably, as usual, be a little late. It was the same kind of ritual they performed in all their interactions. She waited and he chose if and when he'd appear.

She reached the gates and she saw Kotetsu there at his post drinking a cup of coffee. The dark haired man greeted her and smiled warmly.

"Hey," he said, offering her a piece of the dango he was eating. "Mission?"

She smiled at the man and nodded without taking the piece of dango. "I have to go heal the son of the lord from Snow."

"Are you sure you don't want any? It's delicious!" he tried to entice her, offering the up the last piece.

"No, thanks," she laughed, patting her stomach. "I've already eaten."

He shrugged and ate the piece himself. "Is this lord the one you did a surgery on some time ago?"

She nodded and smiled at the man as she looked around to see if Kakashi was anywhere nearby. "He insisted that only I can heal his son. And he offered a very good deal with Konoha if I go there so… here I am."

"You are not going alone, I presume."

She shook her head and looked again around. "But my teammate will be a little late, I am afraid."

"Who is your teammate?" the man asked.

"The only one who _always_ makes others wait for him," she answered the guard and leaned against the wall.

"Kakashi, huh?"

She nodded before glancing at her watch and sighing; they should have started travelling twenty minutes ago. She wondered if Kakashi was late on purpose sometimes or if he really did have such a bad relationship with his clock.

"Yo!" she heard a familiar voice say and immediately she felt her knees shake. She took a big breath and turned toward him with a forced smile. He seemed comfortable, like the fact that they were going together in a mission alone, all alone, wasn't any big deal at all.

Maybe for him it really wasn't. Maybe he thought that nothing really weird could happen. He didn't feel anything for her, he didn't crave her like she did and he didn't know how she felt about him so he didn't know that just the thought of that mission was pure torture for the medic. For him, it was just another mission.

"Ready to go?" she asked adopting her strict medical façade to hide her nervousness.

He nodded and put his hands in his pockets. "Whenever you are. I'm just waiting here," he told her. She turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Right," she murmured sarcastically and turned to Kotetsu. "Bye," she waved to him and started walking, Kakashi following a few feet away.

They traveled for an hour like that, until they reached the denser parts of the forest from where they started travelling faster jumping from tree to tree. They didn't talk at all, just jumped from tree to tree, a monotonous movement that required little more effort than walking.

As time passed and they continued to remain silent, Sakura felt angrier and angrier. She wanted a reaction from him, one that showed that he did feel something about the situation. She knew that he didn't love her and probably didn't think much of her during his day but he did try to avoid her during the day in the village so he must have felt something about them being alone.

But he didn't show it.

And it pained her that he could so easily pretend while she couldn't.

* * *

><p>They continued to travel without talking, without interacting more than what was necessary and they kept as much distance as they could. They traveled while keeping a few feet distance between them and slept away from each other.<p>

It was hard for Kakashi to restrain himself when they were alone for so long. For the last eight days they hadn't even met another human being and they were now in Snow territory. If the weather continued to be as good as it had been the past few days then they would reach the lord's castle in a day. It would be easier to be apart during their stay at the castle since the pink haired medic would be busy with her patient. He'd still need to ensure her safety, but luckily he had the perfect excuse for distance. If he hovered over her he'd simply be distracting them both and her attention needed to be focused on the lord's son. Not to mention most lords and lordlings liked to be fawned over by pretty young medics and having a surly guard mucking up the mood would only sour the lord's disposition. Besides, he could protect her just as well after disappearing into the shadows and watching her from afar, making sure nothing happened to her.

As his mission demanded.

As he was ordered to by his Hokage.

As he desired to do.

He couldn't let anything happen to her. It was ironic that this was coming from the man that had been taking advantage of her body and youth the last few months. The one that shared her bed without even offering her a few words of kindness.

He didn't know why she had accepted him every night he'd approached her but he certainly wanted that unknown reason to continue. He knew that the woman was not in love with him, that they wouldn't have a happy ending. He couldn't imagine why someone as young and fresh and beautiful and full of life would want to do anything with an old man like him but he was grateful to whatever God existed that she gave him everything he asked without demanding anything.

That he could taste and feel her soft skin with his hands any night he desired.

Make her moan his name and hug him tightly like she wanted to be as close to him as possible, like there was a hidden meaning behind her responsiveness, her kisses and her shy smiles.

It had started as an one night stand, had been repeated because of his emotional distress when he learned that Gai died and somehow he found his feet repeatedly leading him to her door until the day would come when she would choose to have someone else in her bed, one that would stay during the morning, unlike him.

He wanted to do that. He woke up and admired her beauty as she slept before leaving her alone but he never had the courage to stay because he didn't want _the _talk to take place. He was afraid that if it did happen, then it would be all the more difficult to come to her.

It had started as something with no feelings and attachments but soon he found himself craving her in a way he had never craved any other woman in his life. He didn't understand how or when it happened but he knew why it did.

Because she was Sakura; beautiful, warm with velvet skin, strong both on the inside and outside, hard working, honest, pure…. The list went on and on.

It was perfectly justified for him to be so engrossed in her.

But it wasn't perfectly justified for her to have any feelings for him. Especially if she thought of his treatment of her.

He didn't deserve her and he feared that this mission and the uncomfortable silences would be the end of the stolen minutes he could share with the pink haired girl.

He feared that the next time he would get close to hug her, kiss her and touch her, she would push him away, she would say no as he had expected her to do from the beginning.

And then he would break completely because he had foolishly let himself get addicted to her. Only she didn't know it and wouldn't think of how he'd feel when she broke it off one day either because he told her that he desired more than some hours every night of her or because someone else had come, someone young like her.

He would be alone again in a cold bed, reading his books and always imagining a pink-haired woman as the protagonist of the novels… but she would never know that.

* * *

><p>They arrived at the lord's castle without any delays since the weather was good and they could travel at top speed. Sakura immediately went to the boy and started her examination to understand what type of infection he had and learn more about the bug from the medics that were taking care of him until she came.<p>

It became evident soon that, beyond the initial infection, the boy's body was reacting to a germ the bug carried and was trying to fight it off on its own. Luckily he was the son of a lord so they had a good supply of dried herbs on hand, as they were nearly impossible to find growing wild in the frigid tundra of Snow. Sakura was able to show the local medics how to duplicate the medicine she was mixing, just to be safe, but she made more than enough for the boy. Within hours he showed signs of improvement and by the next day he was already sitting up in bed and eating base foods again.

Sakura couldn't help but feel pride when she saw the boy get better and how grateful his father was to her. She wasn't needed to see the boy all the way through his sickness now that the other medics knew what to do for him, but she could tell the lord would prefer for her to stay on longer. The man had immediately suggested she stay for a few more days, to rest from the journey if nothing else, before return but the pink-haired medic refused because of the responsibilities that were waiting for her at the hospital.

Aside from the fact that part of her wanted to get this mission over as quickly as possible.

Thanks to the vast improvement of the boy, Sakura and Kakashi were able to leave much earlier than expected. And, as luck would have it, they had managed to avoid each other during their most of their stay.

They actually avoided each other too much, she felt. They just saw each other from afar during meals. While she was taking care of the boy, the silver-haired male disappeared into the shadows of the manor, blending so completely she couldn't always tell where he was, and stayed there for as long as he could. Now that they were attending a small ceremony of thanks just minutes before their send-off, Sakura had to keep her emotions in check. Just the thought of the journey she had to make with Kakashi, again, had her on edge. After being around him for so long, after the awkward silences and the quick side-long glances, after hearing some of the maids giggling about him and watching them attempt to flirt with him – badly she might add – at the meals they both took by themselves, the tension in her was rising to a boiling point.

She was so agitated at this point that she even glared at him when she saw him coming half an hour late to the meeting point. He seemed confused at her ire but he didn't say anything. Without uttering a word, she turned her back on him and started walking. Like when they were traveling before, there was a distance between them.

For the first day they continued to walk like that with the fortune of good weather helping them travel as fast as possible. Even though no one voiced it, it was evident that both wanted to reach the village and hide at their usual places until perhaps the night came.

At night, he might come to her, although she doubted that he would for the first few nights, because of how close they were to each other, and yet so much more distant than they had ever been, due to the past three weeks. But she knew, or perhaps hoped, that he would come to her again, that he wouldn't find another female to take care of his needs instead of her because… she wasn't ready to let go of him yet.

She knew that when their "relationship" ended it would be his decision but she hoped that they would get to have one more night together before she had to say goodbye to her fantasies while they were making love. She wasn't sure if she would ever be really ready because the more time that passed, the more she understood that he would never be hers in the way she wanted him to, the more addicted she became to him.

During the time they were on the mission and he hadn't even touched her, she'd felt her cravings for him grow exponentially. At that moment, what she wanted more than anything was to stop running and grab the man travelling a few feet behind her, pin him against a tree, and have her way with him. She would do anything he asked, no matter how shameless and perverted it may be. She would do anything it took to make sure he would come to her again, just for one more night.

But it still begged the question, why did he come to her? Especially when he seemed so uncomfortable with the whole situation? He could find another woman, older and more experienced that would share his appetite for sex and they could much easily be in a friend-with-benefits relationship. But he had chosen her... his inexperienced, young student to play this game. This was such a dangerous game for her.

The sun set and they made camp for the night. They were still in Snow and it was cold enough that Sakura wanted to go and snuggle up against Kakashi just so she could share some of his warmth. Before this change in their relationship, before they'd started sleeping together, she might've, but now everything during daylight hours was skewed.

She looked at the fire burning in front of her and hugged herself to make her body feel warmer. Kakashi, noticing that, looked up at her and moved hesitantly a bit closer to her.

"Are you cold?" he asked although he knew that she was.

The pink-haired woman nodded and hugged herself tighter. The silver-haired man went closer to her until their bodies were nearly touching. The young woman, surprised by his act, raised her head to look at the older shinobi and found her face suddenly inches away from his. This closeness, that the circumstances had forced them to avoid, suddenly made her feel hot enough to forget that a fraction of a second before she was freezing.

Suddenly everything, the cold, the world around her, her identity, his identity… _everything_ ceased to exist and the only thing that counted was that _he _was there, close to her and she felt so very nice and so very hot just because he was near.

Their faces leaned towards each other and Sakura took the initiative and brushed her lips over his mask, smirking slightly as she felt his body go a bit tense just because of her touch. This reaction of his relieved her as it was proof that she was still desirable to him, that their nightly interludes would not stop once they got at Konoha.

She slowly raised her hand and lightly touched his mask, eager to pull it down and kiss his lips and skin instead of the clothing material but she didn't rush it. She knew that if she did, he would stop her. It was a wonder he hadn't stopped her yet; they were on a mission still… officially at least, and he was Kakashi, the one that was so very serious and professional that would never do anything to jeopardize a mission, right?

But suddenly the image of those stupid, stupid maids flirting with him came to mind and all her nagging doubts rushed back to the surface. She suddenly felt she wanted him even more, she wanted to mark him, something she'd never done before and he also had done to her only once. They didn't belong to each other, but she certainly wanted the situation to change. She suddenly realized that she wanted him so much for herself that she wanted him to _know. _Know how she felt, know what he meant to her and what she really wanted him to offer, she wanted him to know all that but she knew that if she opened her big mouth, as she was afraid from the beginning she would eventually do, then she would have nothing out of him.

Not even one last night.

"Sakura?" she heard him mutter as she lowered a bit his mask. She didn't reply just smirked slightly and playfully pecked his nose. "Sakura," he called again, this time in a more demanding tone. She stopped her ministrations and without letting go of his face, she looked at his eyes.

"Yes?"

"We are on a mission," he told the woman simply, knowing that there was no need to say anything else.

"Officially," she muttered at him and moved closer to him, pressing her body on his. "We've practically finished the mission."

Kakashi remained silent as he felt his mask coming off and he enjoyed the warmth her body offered to him. He wanted to let her be in charge and have fun with him. He always wanted her to let go but at bed she let him do anything he wanted. The idea of her being in charge was suddenly very appealing but it wasn't enough to convince him to screw her when they were in a foreign territory.

Sakura, happy that he didn't resist anymore kissed his lips lightly and hugged him tenderly. She wasn't sure why she was acting that way; her mind was screaming at her that she should stop before she said anything because then she would lose him forever.

She would lose him completely.

The medic silenced her inner self and concentrated on Kakashi only, eager to please him. She felt his hand on her body, going up and down, feather touching her. Soon his hands came to her face and he pushed her back.

"We are on a mission." he repeated strictly and she just stared at him.

Slowly she smirked at him and brought her face again close to him, pressing her lips on his. "Yeah… but that's what makes this all the more interesting… the risk," she murmured on his lips. As she had guessed the man was finding this a turn on but she knew that his analyzing mind wouldn't let him give in so easily.

He coughed slightly to gain control of his voice and pulled a bit back, staring at the woman in front of him who was wearing a playful smirk, one that in all their previous interactions he had never see on her face. It suited her. It excited him.

But it also made the situation so much more difficult. The silver-haired man sense the danger of what they were doing; it wasn't just that they could be ambushed any moment, it was because if they did sleep together, the morning they would have to show how they truly felt about their situation, he couldn't be able to ran away before she woke up.

Maybe that was why she was insisting on sleeping with him, to force them to have _the _talk when they woke up. If they did have the talk, it meant that probably they would never be together again.

He stared impassively at the woman in front of him and shook firmly his head. "We are not going to break the rules," Kakashi said to her. And he meant not only the rules of their village but also the rules of the dangerous game they were playing these last few months, a weird interpretation of hide and seek.

He saw the disappointment in her eyes and he felt bad that he had made her feel unwanted. He desired her more than he had ever desired another woman but he was also afraid of the intense feelings he had for her, the crazy lust, the need to have her in his arms… he was afraid what would happen to him if he suddenly found himself unable to have her.

She looked away with a frown and turned her back on him, feeling humiliated after his flat out refusal to be with her. It wasn't just that he refused to be with her, she perceived that refusal as a statement that he would be the only one who would decide when she would touch him. Sakura hated feeling humiliated or unappreciated. She suddenly was disgusted with herself, for failing to seduce the copy ninja and immensely angry at the silver-haired shinobi who had rejected her in that way.

She forced herself to try to think past the hurt, to try to think with her head instead of just her heart. Why had he really refuse her? Was it because he didn't find her attractive anymore? Or did he reject her just because it was dangerous to have sex with her while they were on a mission, sleeping in the ground?

There was an uncomfortable silence between them and she felt the air around them thicken just because of how many unsaid things were trying to be expressed. She tried to restrain herself and relax but she suddenly found herself in a dilemma.

Did she really want this façade continue? Did this hide and seek game between them make her life happier? She wanted Kakashi but she didn't want to forever be at his beck and call, always allowing him to be the one to call the shots and deciding if and when they could be together. She wanted at least to have a say in what or when they'd do something. She wanted to have her way with him, if she ever chose to be with him like he did with her.

She kept staring at the dark as she was contemplating her situation. What she wanted most was to have Kakashi in her _life,_ not just in the secret hours of a few nights here or there. However she'd known that for a long time now…

But since she couldn't have that, the question was what did she want more in general? Kakashi, as he was – meaning whatever he was willing to give her, or a more stable relationship with someone else, even if he wasn't the man of her dreams?

She had already lost so much time and wasted so many emotions on Sasuke that she was not sure if she wanted to experience something similar with Kakashi.

She turned slightly and looked at the man behind her, who was examining her from his seat on the log. Was he that special?

Yes, he was.

Was he worth her time and love?

Yes, he was.

Was he worth the feeling of being a plaything that, as shown from his behavior a while back, didn't get to have a say in their "relationship"?

Sakura wasn't sure about that. It had taken her a lot of time and effort to build her self-confidence and self-respect that she wasn't sure if she could throw away her so-difficult-earned dignity for him.

Maybe he wasn't worth it. Not if he didn't give her anything in return but sex.

She frowned at him and met his eyes from afar. She noticed his worried look and wondered if maybe she was too cruel with him …. Maybe she was more important to him than she believed.

She shook her head fiercely and got up immediately, feeling Kakashi's eyes on her. If that was the case, then he would have to tell her what he felt. Even if it was just lust with a tiny bit of concern for her, she had to know. It would probably hurt her, crush her, but if it ended now, then she had more chanced to move on, to find love with someone that would love her back.

"I am going to the lake we passed to wash up a bit," she announced to the man and started walking away.

* * *

><p>Kakashi watched her walk quickly towards the little lake they had passed and wondered what was going on inside her head. He was watching her intently after he pushed her away and couldn't help but feel worried about how she perceived his refusal to have sex. He hoped she didn't take it personally but something inside him told him that she probably did and whatever she was thinking could ruin what they had.<p>

Could he perhaps have thrown away his last night with her?

The idea that he would never have her again annoyed him and immediately the image of her with another man came to his mind. Like every time he thought of her with someone else, a wave of intense jealousy took over him and he felt an even bigger desire to be with her.

Before he understood what he was doing, he found himself running toward the lake. There, he saw her staring at the lake while she was sitting on her rock. He quickly marched towards her and grabbed her from behind, pulling her to him. She tensed at his touch and turned to look at him. The copy ninja leaned forward and kissed her hungrily, the texture of his lips rough against hers, tongues slick against each other. If he had given up his last night with her, so be it, but he would at the very least have one last kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>End Note:<strong> If you enjoyed this chapter, please consider voting for team _Angsty McMuffin Pants_ on the kakasaku community on LJ. Thanks for reading folks, please leave us a review to let us know what you think of this so far!


	3. Chapter 3 by FlameTwirler

**Note:** This is Team Angsty McMuffin Pants' final entry for the Chuunin Challenge being hosted on the kakasaku community on LiveJournal. The final chapter of this fic was written by the phenomenal FlameTwirler who managed an impressive 8.5 K all on her own given her health problems of late. We all hope you get better soon, FT!

We, SammyQuill, Edelin and FlameTwirler, would like to thank everyone who has kept up with this story so far and hope the ending lives up to your expectations!

* * *

><p>Kakashi leaned into the kiss as Sakura's surprise, her hesitancy at his seemingly abrupt change, burned away, and he imprinted every little nuance onto his mind. He'd never tasted her in such extreme cold before and found it lent her a new sharpness. He let her roll across his senses, fill every inhale and take every exhale, until her implicit demands would no longer be ignored.<p>

Reaching down, he clasped each of her wrists firmly and pulled her grasping hands away from his waistband. Sighing, he said, "Sakura, I said we can't. We're still on a mission."

"Fuck the rules," she growled, while her eyes all but begged him to fuck her instead.

He eyed her calmly, ruthlessly. "You know they're rules for a reason. What would you do if we were attacked and caught off guard because we were otherwise occupied? How would you cope if you were seriously injured? If I was? What if one of us was killed?"

The wheels were turning in her head, he could see it; she was too logical a person for the argument not to affect her. Still, she was also an emotional person, and one of the most interesting things about her was trying to guess which side she'd respond with. Still, she scoffed at him, stubborn heels digging in. "And what's the likelihood of that actually happening?" she scoffed at him.

He stared her down. It seemed logic wasn't going to win this time, even for all her history. Between working in the hospital and apprenticing for the Hokage she probably knew more about ambush attacks than most nin. Then again, given how long the tension had been building up between them he should've guessed her emotional side would take over.

"It's a chance I'm not willing to take, no matter how small the risk," he declared with finality. She colored at his words – whether a flush or a blush he couldn't tell in the cold moonlight – and he forced himself to walk a few steps away. He was already feeling guilty about the kiss and how much of a distraction that had been. If someone had been sneaking up on them during those few moments he was pretty sure he wouldn't have noticed quickly enough and they would have been severely compromised. Hardly befitting of the senior operative on the mission.

He paced back and forth, trying to clear his mind and cool the blood still boiling in his veins. "Why are you pursuing this now? Why tonight, of all nights?"

She could've come to him any night she wanted but in this little game of cat-and-mouse they played, the only other time she'd ever taken the lead had been after Gai's funeral, and that had been fueled by sympathy, not desire.

He knew he made her uncomfortable – as evidenced by the lengths she went to in order to avoid him in her daily routine. He couldn't say he blamed her, not with how horrified he'd been with himself after the first night they'd somehow managed to stumble drunkenly to her bed.

Then time had turned his weakness, his craving, into something so much deeper, so much grander.

He didn't understand why she'd never pushed him away, why the avoidances, the stilted conversations and longer treks to the hospital didn't outweigh the awkward relationship they had. Maybe she was lonely, or liked having a relationship with the benefits of release without all the messy emotional entanglements. He knew he she was busy enough at the hospital, especially with the newest promotion and projects she'd taken on, that she likely didn't have time for any real relationship.

Or perhaps he'd made it too patently obvious that he needed this, needed her. For all that she liked to bluster and talk big and pretend otherwise, she had a damn big heart. But here her empathy could be playing his enemy. It could be that, as a friend, she liked him too much to deny him something he was desperate for – at least when she didn't have any romantic conflicts on the horizon.

And there were none. That he was sure of.

He'd started watching her when she'd begun to look pale, had to step in when she'd skipped one too many meals. And he was a selfish son-of-a-bitch because even though he knew it was his fault that she was like this, he couldn't stop visiting her.

If another man ever entered the picture, though, he'd have to make his exit, and he could only hope he'd do it somewhat gracefully. The two of them had no agreement of any kind, let alone one of exclusivity, and if he was only concerned about himself he could stay in their tenuous relationship. It would be about nothing more than an addict satisfying his cravings. But he cared for her a good deal more than he should, so he'd be cruel to her, take out the brunt of his anger on her, so for her sake he'd have to break things off.

From the look in her eyes at the moment, however, it might never come to that.

"Why are you questioning me? You're the one saying one thing then doing another. Is this some kind of game to you?" She balled up her fists, yelling at him, "I'm not a toy!"

"I'm well aware of that," he said calmly, hoping to somehow salvage this conversation that seemed to be careening wildly out of control.

"Oh really? Did you come over here with no intention of changing your mind?" she demanded to know.

He already knew where she was heading with this so he chose not to answer. She'd get to her point eventually anyhow.

"So what was all this then? Just a tease?" Her voice was trembling with frustration.

He sighed heavily. Now that he thought it through from her perspective perhaps that hadn't been the wisest move. "No, of course not, I hadn't meant to do anything of the sort. I just thought that…one last kiss would be fitting."

"One la…" she repeated quietly. Her mouth opened and closed silently a few times and Kakashi waited the interminable moment it took for her to find her voice again.

"Fine," she said in a surly voice. "Can I take my bath now?"

His eyebrows popped up. "You were serious about that?"

"Of course."

"Sakura, as long as you're in the perimeter I have no problem if you want some time to yourself, but we're in the Land of Snow. In case you haven't noticed, it's below freezing out here and that lake is going to be even colder. You'll get hypothermia. Just heat up some snow over the fire like we usually do to get cleaned up."

She scoffed at him. "Kakashi, I'm a medic; give me some credit. We have our tricks."

He studied her a long moment but she appeared perfectly confident in her abilities so he relented. "All right, but I'm checking your extremities when you get back to camp so your fingers and toes better be rosy and glowing. Otherwise you won't like the way I choose to get your circulation going again." He'd have to check her lips too, among other things, and he just hoped her abilities were all she made them out to be because he wasn't sure he could handle touching her lips again so soon.

Sakura rolled her eyes but nodded and he darted back to camp to start building up the fire. Despite their extra clothing he was cold just from looking at the lake, and super-special-medical jutsu or not, she'd be freezing when she came back, hypothermia or no.

He was tempted to linger, to hide in the trees and attempt to copy the jutsu she used. If it truly staved off hypothermia it would be incredibly useful, but with the discord between them he doubted she'd been amenable to teaching it to him at the moment. Still, it had already been hard enough to keep himself under control, to keep his priorities straight, and watching her bathe and trying to keep his focus on her hands – and only her hands – was something he doubted he'd be able to do at the moment.

Thus he chucked it up as a loss and headed back toward camp, stopping to grab a bit more wood on the way back. Granted they'd already gathered quite a bit, and with Sakura's chakra punch she'd be able to more readily get any they needed later, but he needed to calm himself down and keep his mind occupied, so the task suited.

She was back not fifteen minutes later, wet hair tucked up underneath the hood of her coat, and for all the absurdity of the situation she looked way too comfortable and inviting for his taste. It had already been hard enough to keep a suitable distance when it was only the two of them sleeping an arm's width apart for days on end, but when she looked like that it only made it seem all the more intimate.

With a grunt he turned his back to let her get situated by the fire before he kept his word and checked on her, eyeing her color and squeezing her fingers and toes to see how quickly the blood rushed back to them. Her lips were still bluer than they should be, as well – though in this cold it was likely his were too, but he was hardly going to compare – so, awkward and wonderful and achingly devastating though it was, he pressed the bare tips of his fingers to the soft skin there as well.

She looked everywhere but at him until this final step, then her eyes were glued to his face and he almost didn't dare to look into her eyes. When he did he saw exactly what he expected: utter exhaustion. Not just physical, but mental and emotional as well. It seemed he wasn't a good influence on her.

He chuckled derisively at himself, her curious glance turning deadly and he let out a puff of laughter, ruffling her hair just for kicks. "I'm not laughing at you, I promise."

She sniffed, clearly unimpressed, but he couldn't help it. Even her stubbornness could be cute. Sometimes.

"May as well tuck in," he advised. "We should start early in the morning. The sooner we're out of the snow the better. Never could get used to the stuff," he added under his breath.

Without a word Sakura slid into her bedroll and shimmied just far away enough from the fire that she didn't have to worry about waking up with singed hair.

Yup, definitely still too cold.

He lay back, ostensibly gazing at the stars, but he kept watch on her out of the corner of his eye. Every now and again she was beset by the shivers, making him wish he could just go dump his blanket on her. She'd refuse it though; even if there had been no tension between them her pride would rile up or she'd go all medic on him and say that he needed to be kept warm as well. Instead he did the next best thing and started to pull his arms back out from under his head. It was a shame too – he'd just started to get comfortable.

* * *

><p>Sakura jumped as a large, warm body settled down at her back, and she stiffened instantly. Then she caught a whiff of the breath that puffed across the side of her face and her lips puckered even as she reached behind her to confirm her suspicions. When her fingers found the first four-inch spike she relaxed, body going slack in an odd mixture of relief and disappointment. Continuing her perusal, she trailed her fingertip down the cold metal and tucked it up under the thick leather of Bull's collar, tugging lightly. He lifted his head and she moved her hand up until she found a patch of close-cropped fur and began scratching in appreciation.<p>

What she wasn't grateful for, though, was that his large bulk now completely blocked her from the fire – and with as close as she'd been lying to it he had to be roasting anyhow. Since Kakashi had summoned him up to act as a living blanket she told herself she didn't feel guilty about poking him until he got up and was situated on the other side of her. She told herself it was perfectly natural to sneak glances at Kakashi through the laborious process of getting the beast of a dog to move – she was only curious to see if they were disturbing his rest with all the noise they were making of course. She also made a mental note to tell Kakashi to have Bull take a bath. _Soon_. If only Pakkun's habits would rub off on the rest of his pack mates.

Once she and the massive hound had finally jostled into comfortable positions, she was safely encased in warmth, sandwiched between Bull and the fire. Petting him behind the ears she whispered a soft, "Thanks." After all, it probably wasn't too much fun to get summoned out of his home, thrown into a cold environ, and then get shoved around by a cranky kunoichi.

He growled out an acknowledgement and licked at her hand – or the cloth of her glove at least. She was just glad he had managed to avoid the metal bracers on the backs because, as tired as she was, she really didn't want to have to go through the whole de-thawing process had his tongue frozen to it. Then Bull turned his head away and fell asleep, which was another small mercy, because he snored _loudly_. Years of traveling with Naruto, however, had gotten her inured to the sound, so she was able to block it out without too much trouble.

Her back was still to the fire, and to Kakashi who was bunked down on the other side of it, but somehow she knew he was still awake. "Thank you," she whispered again, barely loud enough to be heard over the popping of the fire, but she knew he'd heard her all the same.

He made no reply but she hadn't expected him to. Still, the silence was nowhere near as oppressive as it had been only a few minutes before.

For tonight, that was enough.

* * *

><p>The return trip took much longer than necessary but Kakashi had his reasons for the prevarication. He knew that something in her had changed and that once they got back to Konoha she would end things. The only reason she hadn't done so yet, as far as he could gather, was because she didn't want to make their remaining time alone together on the journey even more awkward than it already was.<p>

The only thing he didn't understand was why she didn't seem to be in a hurry at all either. The tension had been growing throughout the entire trip but it was something they were used to, something they could deal with, until her attempted seduction, his refusal, and the resultant fall out. Why she wasn't busting her ass to get back to town and get out of his company was a puzzle to him. Did she dread having to give him the goodbye talk that much?

As they were in the final stretch before approaching the front gate their steps lagged dramatically until Sakura stopped altogether. His momentum carried him a few trees beyond her so he had to backtrack, and when she seemed interested in just about everything else other than him, he just pulled out his book and made himself a seat where two branches nestled up against the trunk. He was in no rush whatsoever for whatever end she had planned; he could wait. Plus he still held onto the selfish little hope that if he made this too difficult then maybe she wouldn't go through with it and they could keep up the facade just a little bit longer.

Sakura turned to him, face stern.

Ah, who the hell was he kidding, he thought, lifting his book up just a little bit higher. This was his little Sakura. When she decided on a course nothing could dissuade her from it, especially nothing so trivial as his acting like, well, more or less like normal, he supposed.

"I can't do it anymore," she said quietly but firmly. "I just…I want…I…"

He almost took pity on her then, knowing she'd get her rejection out eventually anyhow, but he wasn't sure he trusted his own voice to speak either.

She took a deep breath, held it, and then released it slowly before continuing. "Kakashi, please don't come to my apartment anymore." The request – if he could call it that – was made with a finality that let him know she'd been thinking over her decision for more than the past few hours. This was a few days in the making, at the very least.

He'd known it was coming all along. Hell, she'd already given him more than he deserved so he should just be grateful that they were parting on amicable terms, that there wasn't screaming and tears and hate-filled accusations. If she never knew of this hollow ache that formed in his gut at the words, then maybe one day he'd be able to look her in the eye again. As it was, he was glad they both seemed to be more comfortable looking anywhere but at each other while they changed the very foundations of their relationship, because while he did keep most of his face covered, he was sure he wouldn't have been able to keep all of this hidden from her.

It was expected, yes, but that didn't soften the blow at all, it seemed.

"If that's what you want," he said quietly, because a selfish bastard he may be in some things, but he did love her, and he did want her to be happy. If that had to be without him, then so be it. (He may not have given up on that idea altogether, may still hold some treacherous hope in his heart, but that would be for him and him alone to know.)

He looked fully at her then, catching the way she paused before nodding, and he sighed. Even now he made her uncomfortable. Even now she hesitated when stating her own desires for the sake of sparing his feelings.

Yes, her heart was definitely still too big for her own good.

"Well then," he said, standing and closing his book with a snap, "now that we've settled that matter we may as well press on toward home. Mr. Ukki could probably do with some watering by now."

She stood as well, fingers fidgeting along the straps of her pack nervously. "You mean you don't have someone take care of him while you're away on missions?"

Hn. Normally her reaction to that would've bordered on the incredulous, if not outright offended for the sake of his poor neglected plant, but a tentative barb was better than nothing. He shrugged. "He's survived this long." See? Conversation. He could do this.

Now he just had to make it back through the gate, check in, and make his mission report before he could go home, indulge in some sake, and forget all about the past couple weeks and pink-haired kunoichi who'd taken up entirely too much of his mental energy as of late.

* * *

><p>Sakura had offered to make the report to Tsunade by herself, and Kakashi had only needed to hand in his written report at some point the following day, so it was a full two days later that he first heard about Shizune's unexplained absence. Being a ninja village, and given that it really wasn't uncommon for missions to run long or run into unforeseen obstacles, it wasn't that unusual a circumstance, even considering that she had been on a simple training mission with a group of genin.<p>

What was suspicious was the combination of elements. Not only was Shizune a very scheduled, orderly person, but the training mission should have been over at least two weeks prior. And given that it was only medical training there shouldn't have been too many outside combatants for them to run into, which left many worried that something had gone wrong during the training itself.

It was another week before Shizune stumbled back through the gate with the rest of her team, all badly injured but alive. As soon as he heard, he made his way slowly over to the hospital. There was no rush; he knew exactly where she'd be. Plus it gave him time to pick up bits of information on the way.

It _had_ been a training accident, as a matter of fact. None of the gossips seemed to know too many details, or at least none that made any sense. He'd rather expected that, since anyone who would be able to understand the intricacies of internal medical jutsu would likely either be working in the hospital or out spreading the gossip to others who would understand the juicy tidbits they were passing along.

Kakashi shrugged as he passed two little old ladies huddled in conversation behind the fruit stand they tended on the street corner. It seemed Shizune was the most badly injured, they murmured mournfully together, clucking their tongues, repeating what he'd heard over and over again, and reaffirming his reasoning for heading over to the hospital to begin with. _Such a shame since she was the leader_, they continued. _Such a bad bit of luck that she'd been standing in the wrong spot._

Again, such a sad lack of understanding of how medical jutsu worked.

As for him, he'd hazard a guess that Shizune had only been lightly injured to begin with. But being a team leader was a burden he identified with, and the responsibility was a tough one to negotiate. He'd bet she'd erred on the side of investing too much in her students, to the point of further injury and complete chakra depletion, ending in slowing her team down instead of simply saving her resources and sending ahead for help.

Somehow he imagined that if Sakura ever became a team leader she'd behave exactly the same way.

Shaking his head he started climbing the hospital stairs, finding relative peace in Shizune's room. Tsunade and another medic – who he recognized but whose name he couldn't recall – leaned over her, their faces tense but un-panicked, and he watched the regular rise and fall of Shizune's chest for a moment, just to be sure she was fine, for all that she was unconscious.

Sakura was relegated to one corner of the room, stolid and unmoving. She just stood there, one arm dangling limply against her side, the other braced across her chest, hand clenching her other elbow, as if it was taking some monumental effort to hold herself back.

Without a word he drifted to her side, feeling the anxiety radiating off from her in waves. She stiffened further as he approached but didn't move away or in any other way indicate he was as unwelcome as their last conversation might have intimated, so he stayed.

Tsunade caught his eye then, sparing him the briefest of glances, and gave him a nod of acknowledgement that also served as his permission to stay. He nodded back but frankly he would've stayed anyhow.

He didn't ask her why she just stood here, why it was clear she was struggling so much to do so. Nor did he ask her for Shizune's story. He wasn't there to sate his curiosity; he was there to support her if she needed it, plain and simple. When she reached over and caught one of his fingers with her own he gauged that he'd made the right decision in coming. Glancing at her from the corner of her eye, he guessed she might not even be aware she'd done it.

How long they stood like that, just watching the others work, he wasn't sure. But after awhile, whether from a desire to fill the interminable silence, or because she sensed his curiosity, or because she really felt the need to make her displeasure known, Sakura answered his unvoiced question anyhow.

"I'm not allowed to help," Sakura told him suddenly, an acrid bitterness lacing her voice.

"Damn it, Sakura, I told you I can't have three of our top medics unable to work! With Shizune out of commission I can't have both you and I running low on chakra, and as much as you've come to care for her as well, I've known her longer."

Silence rung hollow in the room, resounding after the Hokage's outburst, until Sakura sighed heavily. "I know, it's just hard not being able to do anything but watch."

Tsunade irritably pushed back a lock of hair that had fallen free of her hair-tie, before grumbling, "Fine, then take a break. Why don't you heal Kakashi's hand and then bring us all some lunch."

"Kakashi's hand? But what happened…" She trailed off because there was no point in asking. As soon as she looked down she saw that she'd somehow managed to unconsciously wrap her own hand around his, and in her worried state of mind, crush it.

The color drained from her face and she looked at him, expression caught somewhere between horrified and accusing. "Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded, even as she gingerly unwound her fingers from his, other hand automatically switching to her green medical chakra in order to diagnose the damage she'd done.

He shrugged. "I've had worse." It wasn't that big a deal, really.

She glared at him. "_'I've had worse'_? Really? That's the best you could come up with? So, what, you'd have stopped me if I ran you through, but not for anything short of that?"

The light from her chakra shuttered off. "I sprained two fingers and fractured three bones. You didn't make a sound. You didn't even _flinch_."

"I'm impressed, Sakura," Tsunade interjected. "You weren't even using your chakra to deal that damage."

If Kakashi didn't know any better, he'd think Tsunade actually sounded amused. Oh, who was he kidding, she probably was amused, though he had no idea why.

Sakura turned to her shishou. "Is it okay for me to heal him or do you want me to just put him in a cast?" she snapped.

Kakashi smirked. He loved it when she was snarky – at least when it wasn't directed at him.

"If you want I could restrict you to bedpan duty all week…" Tsunade threatened.

Closing her eyes and gritting her teeth, Sakura breathed out slowly. "No, thanks, I'll just take Kakashi and go heal him now. I'll be back in a bit with your food."

Sakura led him out of the room then, through the brightly lit halls of the exam rooms and down into the maze of corridors and dank, dark rooms that made up the research facilities where she spent most of her time. She took him to the small room that served as her office before closing the door behind him, assuring their privacy.

"Sakura, you don't need to heal me if it's making you uncomfortable; there are plenty of other medics wandering around."

She sighed heavily before turning away and sinking into a chair. "Tsunade would have my hide if I did that."

He hated to admit it, but even after everything they'd gone through, his ego was bruised just a bit to know that the only reason she wasn't pushing him off on someone else was because she feared the Hokage's wrath.

"If that's all, then I can assure you there are plenty of people I know who owe me favors and could be trusted to keep the healing a secret. It needn't be a worry if you don't want it to be."

She looked up at him then, the first time she'd looked him fully in the face since their mission, and took his hand gently in hers. At the first pulse of her chakra against him relief rushed through his system but she only seemed to look even more worried.

"Why did you come here?"

"The cafeteria food is quite cheap, and on Tuesdays it's almost palatable."

"No, Kakashi, really. Why did you come? After everything we did and said, why are you here?"

He was quiet a moment, just watching her, feeling the way her chakra pulsed into his palm, and said, "Because you were there for me when I needed someone."

She looked up at him sharply and he shrugged, feigning nonchalance as he looked away. "I know Shizune will be all right, otherwise Tsunade wouldn't give a damn about making sure you had a reserve left for everyone else, but I know it still hurts." He'd been there, had watched enough comrades teeter on the brink of injury, and the constant worry wore away at the edges of a person after a while. "You've been under a lot of stress," not the least of it due to him and their last journey together, "and I just wanted you to know that if you need anything," his throat tightened momentarily and he pretended he'd intended the dramatic pause, "I'll still be there for you."

Her eyes narrowed at his pause, at his 'anything', confusion and exhaustion seeping into her expression. "Kakashi, just what are you trying to say?"

"I'm just trying to give you whatever you need."

"Sex?" she asked flatly, and he knew plainly that was clearly not on her agenda. More's the pity.

"Only if that's what you want."

Curiosity sparked in her eyes and he wondered at what could be going on in her head. "And if I wanted you to go out and do a jig on the desk at the nurses' station?"

He tapped his chin in deep concentration. "Hm, not sure I know how to do a jig. I might have to get back to you on that one."

A small smile appeared on his face and he considered himself victorious for the day already. "Thanks for the offer, and I'll let you know if I think of anything, but – why?"

He had to think over the answer to that one for a minute. He couldn't say it was because he loved her, because it wasn't something she wanted to hear, and saying he wanted to make her happy was tantamount to the same thing. He couldn't lie to her either though, so what to say? Ah, a half truth would work just as well. "As I told you, because you were there for me."

It was one of the things he loved about her, that she gave of herself so selflessly, so in the smallest of ways it was an admission, but he didn't really understand the look that crossed her face when he said it.

Probably just exhaustion and grief.

"Well, there you go," she told him, letting go of his hand and prompting him to flex his fingers. "Good as new."

He twisted his arm around a few times, practiced a few hand signs, before conceding, "That it is."

"So I'll be seeing you around then?"

Kakashi almost snorted. That was a dismissal if ever he heard one. Didn't sound very promising for the likelihood of her taking him up on his offer either. At least he'd distracted her for a little while; maybe that would just have to be good enough. "Yes, I suppose so."

Sakura had already started rummaging around in drawers for papers and he smiled at her obvious attempt to ignore him. If he hadn't just gone on and on about trying to give her what she needed he'd have been sorely tempted to feign ignorance and hang around her office just to ignore her. As it was he'd probably already overstayed his welcome.

So turning his back on her, he walked out of her door and quite possibly out of her life.

* * *

><p>An hour later when Sakura walked back into Shizune's room carrying three lunches, the vultures descended.<p>

"So, how long has Hatake been in love with you?"

Luckily she'd already made it to the side table otherwise all of the food would've ended up on the floor.

"W-what?" She looked around frantically, expecting either Naruto, a hidden camera, or someone else trying to corner her into some kind of prank. But no one was around, not even Himeki, the medic who'd been working on Shizune alongside Tsunade.

Tsunade chuckled. "I sent Himeki down to the lab to check on Shizune's blood work."

Sakura quirked a brow. "Haven't you been trying to keep her _away _from the lab since she keeps flirting with one of the technicians down there and takes forever to come back with the results?"

Tsunade's lips turned up into an outright smirk. "Exactly."

Shrugging, Sakura started dividing the contents of the third plate between the other two, doing everything she could to avoid her shishou's piercing gaze. "Oh well, more for us."

Unfortunately, this was the Hokage she was talking about. "Sakura, you do realize that ignoring me isn't going to make me go away, right? I haven't had a scandal like this in ages!"

Sakura sighed before shoving one of the plates into Tsunade's empty hands. "He isn't in love with me."

Tsunade snorted. "Of course he is. You'd have to be blind not to see it."

Throwing her hands up in the air, Sakura declared, "Then I guess I'm blind because I have no idea where you're getting that from."

"Oh, so you two _haven't _slept together?" she asked slyly.

Sakura nearly choked and was sure she'd flushed a brilliant shade of pink, yet still she was tempted to lie. There were some things she'd learned during her apprenticeship with Tsunade though. One was to learn how to hold her liquor. Another was to _always _take a bet against her – the woman's bad luck was legendary. And one of the most important was _never _to lie to her. Not only could she tell – it was like she could scent them out – but she always thought up the most unique and painful punishments for them as well, as she'd learned the hard way.

Instead Sakura let the silence speak for her and winced as Tsunade's loud, cackling laughter filled the room.

She felt really guilty for even thinking it, but she hoped Shizune's coma was deep enough that she wasn't hearing a word of this – not like Tsunade wouldn't relate it verbatim when she woke up anyhow.

Wiping away a tear, Tsunade asked her, "What makes you think he _doesn't _love you?"

Sakura's mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to formulate an answer, one that wasn't horribly awkward or embarrassing or inappropriate, and couldn't settle on anything. Instead she asked, "What makes you think he _is_?"

The blonde snorted. "Oh _please_. Kakashi, Mr. I-Hate-Hospitals-And-Have-To-Be-Dragged-Kicking-And-Screaming-Or-At-Least-Unconscious, willingly came to one when he wasn't even on death's door. It wasn't even to visit someone who was injured – it wasn't that you were hurt, or Naruto or Tenzou. It was that someone you _cared _about is injured; he came as emotional support. He easily could've waited until you were home for the day in order to avoid the building altogether but he didn't. And do I even need to mention the hand thing?"

Sakura stared at her, horrified. "You don't really think…?"

"What did he say after you both left?"

"…That he'd be there for anything I needed."

"Ooh, boy!" Tsunade crowed, slapping her knee. "You have that man whipped! Make sure you get as much as you can out of him before you let him know you love him too."

"That I lo – What makes you think I love him?"

Tsunade gave her a flat stare. "We're not going to go through this again, are we? All you have to do is look at your face right now. But aside from that I _know _you, girl. I've worked with you for years and am not so easily fooled as some other people might be."

"Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight – are you actually trying to talk me into going after Kakashi here? You do realize this man is fourteen years older than me?"

She rolled her eyes. "I use a jutsu to look decades younger than I really am and sleep with men who are as old as I look. So what am I going to say about age? Next," she said, waving her hand for Sakura to give her her next objection.

"Ew, I really didn't want to know that much." She supposed she had known that since Jiraiya's death her shishou hadn't been interested in anyone else her own age, but still…

Tsunade laughed. "Now that's a lie if ever I heard one – I see the curiousity in your eyes. Once you're settled with Kakashi we'll do an info swap; I'll tell you what it's like to be with a younger guy and you can tell me what it's like to be with an older one."

Sakura smiled and just shook her head. Somehow she always got stuck with the crazy ones but it made life so much more interesting.

"Now, did you have any other stupid objections I needed to plow over before I kick you out of my hospital?"

"Well there are the facts that he's also my ex-sensei, lazy, reads porn in public…things like that."

"And do any of those things actually bother you?"

"Not really, not me. Well, the constantly running late thing does, but that's just part of who he is."

"Ah, young love," Tsunade sighed. "Give it a year and you'll be chewing his ear off about it, but for now it'll just be one of his cute little quirks."

"But what about everyone else?"

Tsunade's eyes sharpened and her head canted to the side. "What about them?"

"Well, what'll they think if Kakashi and I are in a relationship? I mean, assuming he _does _actually want me and all, which I'm still not convinced of by the way. Will people think I'm a pervert, or that he's taking advantage of me, or any other myriad of other horrible things about the pair of us?"

"People will always think whatever they want to. If it amuses the gossips, they'll think bad things, or if the tide of public opinion changes, they'll think good things. The important thing, though, is that those close to you would be happy for you if you were happy. You'll get razzed about it _all _the time, don't doubt that, but those around you, those who love you, really just have your interests at heart and ultimately will have to defer to your judgment. I hope you trust all of us enough to know that we'll be behind you, through thick and thin, and wouldn't fall off because of something so frivolous as your significant other's age."

Sakura's eyes started to tear up and Tsunade hated water works. "Well, if that's all settled, then what are you still doing here? Get out of my hospital already, you've got work to do!"

Hastily shoveling down the rest of her food, mostly forgotten during their discussion, Sakura bolted for the door, plans already whirling in her head.

"You owe me a case of sake for playing matchmaker!" Tsunade called after her. "The expensive stuff, too, not that cheap crap Ebisu tries to pass off on me-"

Sakura didn't hear any more of what was sure to be a long and laborious tirade about the unrefined palates of some of the poor saps on the payroll, because her patience had run thin. Now that Tsunade had planted the idea inside her hope was bubbling up in her like a well and the walls of the hospital wouldn't contain her anymore, so the first window she came to she slid open, and with a carefully executed spin-jump, she was gone.

* * *

><p>Kakashi woke to the feeling that something was definitely off, but he could smell he was still in his apartment and his sixth sense for danger hadn't been triggered so for a moment he just let himself lie there trying to puzzle it out. Finally, unable to figure it out by intuition alone, he scrubbed at his eyes – or at least, tried to.<p>

His wrists were tied to the bed.

His eyes immediately snapped open and locked on Sakura, who conveniently enough happened to be sitting right next to his bed. "This is new," he said sardonically.

"We need to talk."

"And I need to be tied up for this because…" He really, really hoped it was because she wanted to talk to him while doing delicious, kinky things to his body, though he sincerely doubted that was the case. In reality, he guessed it was because she was worried whatever she was going to say would make him run far, far away. Or she was planning on torturing him. Yes, torture was definitely an option. Or castration. Maybe Tsunade had found out about them and had decided that he'd been taking advantage of her? No, then she'd have come herself.

"Because you're distracting."

He blinked. Well, he hadn't seen that one coming. But if that was her reason…that sparked a dull bit of hope inside of him. Suddenly he couldn't help but tease her.

"If we're going to be having a long conversation then, and if I'm doomed to be trussed up like a pig for the duration, do you think you could move? If you're sitting over there I'm bound to get an awful crick in my neck." When she seemed rather hesitant to get any closer, he added. "I did have my hand broken today, and said hand is currently tied up in a less than comfortable position. The least you could do is save my neck since I'm going along with the whole 'being tied up' bit."

"It wasn't broken, it was barely fractured," she grumbled, but she did get up from the chair and sit cross-legged on the bed by his knees, facing him. "And I tied you up in the most comfortable way I could get you into. I could've made this a lot worse, you know."

He smiled winningly up at her, grateful for the only time in his life to be caught without his mask on. For some reason, since she didn't want to be distracted, he very much wanted to distract her now.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" he asked, dragging her gaze from his lips back up to his eyes, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest. He was glad she'd thought to put his protector over his sharingan because he didn't know he'd be paying close enough attention at the moment to make sure he didn't use it. Part of him wished he had it open so he could memorize the hungry look on her face in this exact second. Even if it was only wishful thinking, just knowing it was directed at him once outside of a bedroom scenario would keep him happy for years to come.

"You. You're just so _vague._ Why is it you always speak in circles, always in riddles? Why don't you ever just say what you mean?"

He attempted a shrug but with his arms tied he was sure it just made him look like he'd had a fit. "Like what?"

"Earlier, all that about filling my needs – why do you care so much? Why my needs and not Naruto's or Yamato's or Ayame's? Or what about your needs?"

This was dangerous ground here – and could either be headed in a very good or very bad direction, so for now he still needed to just play it neutral. He just couldn't be sure what she was doing and, no matter what, he didn't want to screw up their friendship by throwing some sort of confession out there and pushing her completely away if she was utterly turned off by it.

"I just want you to be happy."

"You promise?"

He cocked his head to the side, waiting.

"I know what I want then."

She didn't elaborate and one minute passed, then two, so finally he figured he may as well play her game.

"You don't want me to start visiting your apartment again, do you?" he asked first, just to be sure, just to get it out of the way.

"No," she said surely, quickly, but she smiled a bit to soften the blow. "That's not what I need."

"A pygmy rhino goat, then?"

She laughed, a sound he hadn't heard in a long time, and he wished he could encapsulate it. "No, is there even such a thing?"

"Of course there is! I know the best place to get them too, Bob's Pygmy Emporium. Some of the other places sell pets that are actually just baby animals, not true pygmies. Then they outgrow their pens and you have to move into a new house just to accommodate your enormous full-size rhino. But at least your pet can beat up everyone else's pet."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said seriously.

"Oh, yes. Only the best from Bob's."

"No, what I need is a date."

Kakashi's heart clenched right before it dropped through his stomach. So this was where it went; she was kicking him to the curb for good for the sake of a relationship with someone her own age, someone who wasn't ancient and perverted and just a bit mental. "Hm, Bob's doesn't carry trees, but I can probably find some good nurseries if you like."

"Kakashi."

"Hm?"

"You're rambling."

"Ah, that I am. Sorry, being tied up tends to have that affect on me."

Sakura didn't even roll her eyes at that quip so he knew things were more serious than she let on and he sighed, sinking even further into the bed.

"This makes you uncomfortable," she said, stating the patently obvious.

"I meant what I said about wanting what's best for you Sakura."

She regarded him a long while after this, a myriad of expressions flitting across her face, none staying long enough for him to decipher. "Tsunade said…but I'm still just not sure…"

His eyebrows shot up at that. "What did she say?"

"Kakashi, I want to go on a date with you."

"Tsunade said _that_?"

"No, idiot, that's just what I've been trying to build up to this whole time, so answer me, dammit."

"Of course." Inside he was doing a little happy dance. He couldn't believe she actually wanted to go on a date with _him_. Be seen in public with _him. _But at the same time, could he really do that to her? There would probably be rumors rampant and it might damage her reputation in the village, perhaps even among her friends. Had she even thought about things like that? He couldn't be sure he wouldn't be hurting her more than anything else, but it was still her choice.

"I want a real relationship, something more than skulking around during the midnight hours, something….wait, did you say yes?"

"If that's what'll make you happy."

Suddenly her eyes turned to fire and she rose up on her knees, moving over to straddle him and grabbed him up by his shirt. "Damn you, Kakashi, give me a real answer as opposed to all this wishy-washy crap! What do _you _want? Do you want to have anything to do with me? Is this some kind of guilt thing? Do you feel like you owe me something, or are obligated to me in some way? If you actually feel something for me then just show me or say something already instead of putting everything on me. I need to know what's going on inside of your head too!"

"Fine," he growled. Truth be told he was getting sick of it himself. "I want to fuck you every minute of every day. I want to savor your smile for myself and myself alone and hide you away from any other guy who would dare see it. I want to boast of your accomplishments and set you on a pedestal to show you off as an example of what a kunoichi can do with hard work, sweat, intelligence, loyalty, and determination. And right now I really just want you to ride me slowly to completion until we get each other off, then you can untie me and I can make love to you again and again and again until we both pass out from sheer exhaustion. And mostly, I want to wake up wrapped around you, and see the morning sunlight shining across your body, and to repeat that every day until the rest of forever, until I am consumed utterly by you."

She looked slightly concussed after his fervent statement – not that he could blame her – so he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He chuckled mirthlessly. "Now that you see the depths of my obsession you can see why I wasn't terribly forthcoming with this information."

He was startled out of his self-loathing when Sakura's lips descended hungrily onto his. His eyes shot open and he intended to ask questions, but they were quickly swallowed by her mouth, her oh-so-talented tongue, and soon enough his thoughts were too thoroughly scrambled to remember anything other than the sensation of her skin against his. His question would save for later anyhow.

She pulled back playfully and nipped at his nose, staying just out of his limited reach, and told him, "By the way, before I left for the night, Tsunade told me that I had quite a few vacation days stored up that I needed to use."

"That _is _convenient," he murmured, breathing slightly uneven. "I take it you're thinking of using those now?"

"Hm, I was considering it," she teased. "Of course, I'll be spending plenty of time at the hospital anyhow, with Shizune," she added, sobering for a moment.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.

She smiled softly down at him, running her fingers through his hair. "No, I'll be fine. It'll be enough if I can come and see you afterward… I _can_ come and see you afterward, right?"

He leaned up enough until she got the hint and leaned down for a short kiss. "As far as I'm concerned you can come every day. Or you can stay forever and never have to leave. Take your pick."

"You mean it?"

"Na, I just felt like playing with the mind of the woman who has me tied up and at her mercy."

"Well, in that case, I accept," she declared, grinning fiercely down at him. "We'll have to wait on the 'sex-until-exhaustion' bit until Shizune's in the clear though. The whole reason I can't help heal her is that they need me in top shape to help heal any other trauma or emergencies that come in, so we'll just have to postpone that one until later. I'll definitely take a rain-check though."

"That's fine – it's certainly not the most important part of it anyhow."

She stopped in the middle of pulling his shirt up and shot him a curious glance. "Just what is the most important part?"

The slow, warm smile he bent on her melted her heart. "Waking up together."

And for every morning thereafter – sans the occasional separate missions – they did.

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><p><strong>End Note:<strong> And that's a wrap! Once again, we'd like to thank everyone who took the time to leave a review, favourtize this story and vote for us. Thanks to your awesomeness, we're actually tied for first place. If you liked this entry, please take a moment to vote for it at the kakasaku community on LJ.

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><p><strong>Update:<strong> OMG WE WON! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Because of all your support and votes an general amazingness, we landed first place. And we got an angsty muffin banner to prove it (which can be found on my profile).


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